Bob Hoskins....?!?!

Hello there...
Long time no speak.
I would like to say I have been really busy, meeting people and going exciting places. But, the truth of the matter is just that I have been so disgracefully lazy the past few days that I have hardly been awake. Makes you sick doesn't it?
Well, considering I have the week off pretty much, and I'm doing the daunting task of going home to sort out finances this weekend, I deserve a rest! Maybe I have sort of hibernated rather than rested, but you get the picture!
Monkey has done exactly the same. So it's not just me. He is worse than I am. As I speak now, he is still curled up in bed fast asleep, and it is now twenty past one! At least I'm up doing something productive! Kinda!
Ok, so, I went out on Sunday night, to the pub quiz! We came second to last, and considering we won £174.00 once on this quiz, that shows we pretty much ballsed this one up. It seemed the answer to every question was either "Meatloaf & Bon Jovi" (even to the name of Gwen Steffani's babies) or "Bob Hoskins". We got a little to drunk in the end to take the quiz seriously! Well, me and Boosh devoured like 3 bottles of cheap wine between us. And the classic Dr Pepper & Vodka to start! Monkey & his clan of friends were also rather wasted. Monkey especially. We went to the park on the way home! I think we all hurt ourselves in some way or another. Dangerous places are parks, when its dark and your rather intoxicated! I clamped my finger in the chain on the swing and Bosh fell off the swing. She also got stuck in the middle of the tube slide. So there I was at the bottom trying to coax her down like a cat from a tree. I would say it all made us feel 6 again, and we shall definately be visiting again soon.
So anyway, yesterday was dull. All I remember doing is having tea and rice pudding and jam for pudding! YUM! And I can't really talk about today as I'm still in bed! I really ought to get up and do something exciting so I can tell you all about it! Mission accepted...

Midnight Feast

Well, to be quite truthful, it has been rather a quiet day. Nothing much happened and I took that opportunity to chill out a bit. The past few days have been a bit hectic with sorting out my major money problems, but now I have sorted them out almost, I'm starting to feel much better about the situation! So thats a bonus!

So, after going to my friday morning lecture, I pretty much got home, made myself and Monkey some supernoodles (it's all I can cook) and got about 5mins into Shaun of the Dead before falling fast asleep. Students and their afternoon naps! Were like babies, we need our afternoon nap to stop us from turning into grumpy lil bleeders. We wake up feeling refreshed and ready for another few hours lazing around. Don't get me wrong, I do do wok. But, it just feels like I spend momst of my life in bed on my laptop.

Me and Monkey, being so disgracefully skint, decided to just stay in. We headed off to the cheap chop on the corner and grabbed a ton of sweets, 2 big bottles of coke and a big bar of galaxy and returned home to pig out and watch films. Well, that was the plan. We found one of those "hidden object" games again, you know, the ones I told you about. Those stupid "finding things" games made for ten year olds that myself or monkey just cant seem to tear our sens away from. We ended up eating all our fat-food and playing this one game for hours and hours. But, WE WON!!!! OH YEAH!!!! It was worth it in the end.

So, I went to sleep with a full belly of sweets and coke and a big cuddle from Monkey. The perfect night! x

Introducing the Stella Penguin....

I am,my friends,writing to you while rather intoxicated. After a busy day at uni, and trying desperately to recover from my deadly cold, I thought I deserved a quick tot with the girls. One of them, I shall call her Penguin, (due to the lovely picture of penguins on her PJ's) has never been to a sleepover before. So her flatmates, Boosh being one of them, and the other one, I call her Stella, decided to have a girls sleepover for Penguin. To steal away her sleepover virgity shall we say!?!?! So its plenty of drinks, drinking games, sweets, chocolate,films and gossip. Perfect.

It all started with a kind of drinking "russian roulette" where one shot glass is filled with vodka,one with gin and the other with water. You pick one and must knock it back in one. Ofcourse everyone hopes to get the water, although secretly wants toget wasted.

I do feel bad about leaving Monkey all on his own in my flat. To be honest,I went for a shower earlier and by the time I had come out, he was fast asleep on the bed. Bless him. I put some music on, dried my hair with the worlds noisiest hairdryer (sounds much like an earthquake), and got ready to go out and he still hadn't awoke from his slumber! So I left him a little note on the laptop and went off to Boosh's flat. Oh yeah, all covert like.

So, as I am writing to you people, Penguin is running up and down the corridoor, with a blanketonher head impersonating Batman, Stella is prancing around in a "Pink Ladies" jacket, I am stuffing my face with sweets,and Boosh is capturing it all on camera. All of this is happening to a medley of Spice Girls classics! Yep, thats right, you know you love them! No doubt for facebook!

I guess I hae to leave soon though, back to Monkey. I don't mind though! Nothing better than a big old cuddle up in bed......Woop Yeah! x

Carboard Buns.....

I don't really have much to say about today! Apart from the fact that I still feel like shit from this cold I have caught! Its kinda turned into one of those whole face colds, if you know what I'm sayin'! Its like, not only does your throat hurt, but your whole face seems to ache. Your nose, your eyes, it's just a complete bastard! Really makes you feel crappy.



Monkey has been very nice to me while I've been ill. Making me cups of tea and stuff. Dr Monkey. Bless him, I wish I was poorly all the time from the treatment I've been getting lately!

Anyway, there was no way I could have gone into Uni today with this horrible flu thing I've got, so I just lay in bed dying quietly. All day pretty much. Monkey made me some breakfast and a few cups of tea and I lay in bed, watched a film, 1408 (scared the shit outta me) and played a few online games. I have totally become addicted to these "hidden object" games. I don't know if any of you have ever played one, but I sugest you dont start. Its like, your given a scene from somewhere, and a list of objects you have to find within the scene. Sounds rather childish and pontless, but I'm telling you, I could be on one of those bleeders all day! Monkey pretends not to like them, but as son as one pops up, he;s the first to be there with his magnifying glass searching the screen like there's no tomorrow! Ha!

I have officially ran out of foundation. I have no money to buy any either and at nearly a tenna a pop I should really be more sparing with it. So, i asked Boosh to get me some from the shop while she was out shopping. I told her to just get the cheapest. When I said cheap, she took it to the extreme. It was the shops own brand, and turned my face orange. I felt like an umpa lumpa. If only I'd had a green wig, and a little brown suit I could of jumped about singing 'umpa lumpa doopidy doo" and people would of thought I was one of the originals! So I have to get some of my usual tomorrow, courtesy of Monkey and his small fortune.

Tea was rather dissappointing today. Through no fault of Monkeys, but these revlting microwave burgers we brought the other day. The burger itself was about as thin as Victoria Beckham, the relish was scarce, the cheese smelt like a thousand sweaty feet and the bun! THE BUN! It was actually made from cardboard. Carborad with a few seeds prit-sticked to the top! Foul! Never again!

Well, this is turning out to be a really rubbish blog. I have nothing witty, or remotely interesting to say. So I'm just gonna grab my coat and leave....

Thats your alphabet....!

You know those mornings when you just can't drag yourself out of bed? Even if the whole

room was on fire, you would just have to lie there, pull the quilt further over your head and pretend it wasn't happening. Thats kinda like me with the alarm. Monkey doesn't help the situation. He just reaches for the alarm, turns it off, grunts and then goes back to sleep. It also didn't help the fact that when i woke up I felt like absolute shit! Sore throat, blocked up nose. The good ole symptoms of the common cold. Really puts you in the mood to start the day. I just lied in bed, knowing I should be in my lecture, but just simply felt like if I went I'd be the annoying kid at the back who just sits there, sniffling and coughing the whole way through. I did not want to be that kid.

I did however manage to drag my dying self to the afternoon workshop. I say workshop, more of a filthy tuesday afternoon comedy club. I remember one quote:

Boy 1 to Boy 2: "you love getting the finger!"

Boy 2 back to Boy 1: "I love giving the finger!"

So, to say the least, everyone got distracted since that little outburst and left nobody in the mood for any serious work. Its not suprising though, everyone seems to turn into giggling messes every tuesday afternoon. It's just tradition I guess.

So anyway, upon arriving home, I found myself to be involved in one of the most disgusting tasks of my entire life. One minute Monkey was telling me we were having sweet & sour chicken for tea (yummy!), then the next minute my hands were covered in flesh and blood as I ripped chicken meat off the bone! I am, to be honest, extremely sqeamish where uncooked meat is concerned, but I'm not joking, my hands looked like I'd committed the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Good job the food was lush to make up for my hard work, amd tough stomach.

Moving away from that, a friend from Uni had asked myself and Monkey to go to the regular Tuesday night haunt for students in Leicester. A dingy, but suprisingly great club. How could we refuse? So, even though I was still felling like shit, I still agreed to go. What came next I was very proud of. I got ready in less than half an hour!!!! A miracle. And, whats more, I found an outfit I actualy felt good in for once! Double Jackpot!

So, we indulged in some pre-club drinks and the good old £1 a drink place. Oh yeah, cheap AND cheerful. Met up with a few other folk from my course, and after intoxicating ourselves to the point of merryment, discussing the classic Beatles V. Rolling Stones debate again and "pushing the horses face" a few times, we all left for the club. Like a troop of drunken soldiers. Well, we got there, and pretty much drank cheap and nasty drinks (the best for getting you wasted) and danced the night away to all the classics. Good times. Then, to my suprise, I found Monkey to be rather shit-faced! Bad times! Although, I must admit, it is quite humerous to watch him when he's like that. If you'd of heard some of the verbal diarrhea (sorry about the spelling, it's not a word I use often) that was coming out of him, you'd laugh too. I quote:

"JCB! JCB! Thats your alphabet!"
"I think I'm going down for a crime!" "What crime?" "I don't know, a crime i committed!"

There were many more, but as I was probarbly just as worse for wear, I cannot recall all of them. I should think those two proove just what I mean by verbal diarrhea!

So, after a kebab, and a burnt pizza (when I say "burnt" I mean "cooked to the point where even the tomato sauce is black") thanks to Monkey's drunken cooking, it was bedtime. Another tuesday night to remember.

Fuzzy Jam......

I am almost deffinately addicted to this blog malarkey! I just cannot seem to tear myslef away. On the plus side, at least it deters me from checking my Facebook account for twenty minutes or so. What is it with that bloody Facebook? I hadn't even had much to do with it until I came to University, and now, everyday I'm getting messages saying "Someone has tagged you in a photo" or "Take the What Famous Criminal Would You Be quiz"! I wouldn't mind, but it seems all the photographs I am tagged in are ones I have no recollection of being taken. Crazy photo's of me and random people I don't even know, or attemping some insane pose while gripping tightly to a bottle of vodka. Ludacris. And whats with these god-awful quiz's I find myself completing? I know they are just time-wasters, but then I get strangely excited when the result says "You are hot & sexy!" or "You are a party-girl!". Sad isn't it!? But I'm sure amny of you reading this do the same thing. Anyway, it's bad enough me being on Facebook, let alone having to discuss it on my blog. So thats quite enough of that.
So... last night. Las night was a nice night. Had a phonecall off my Nan & Granddad back home. Asking the all important questions such as "Are you warm enough?", "Do you have enough food? Your not starving are you?" and the ultimate "Are you OK for money?". I wish I had the (black) heart to say "No, no i'm terribly skint and can't even afford to put £1.80 in the washing machine!" but I can't. Plus, if I told her I was this skint she'd never sleep at night. So I just pretend everything is hunky dorey! Ha! Well, I guess it is, just not on the fundage side of things.
I didn't do much after the phone call. Just got roped into watching some crappy film Monkey wanted to watch. It was so old I think I may have seen a dinosaur strolling past in the background. But, on the plus side, he made me a gorgeous tea again. Steak and chips. Steak cooked to perfection. Yum! I may aswell hang my apron and chef's hat up now, I never get a look in where the kitchen is concerned. I think he secretly likes to cook. So I let him get on with it. Who wouldn't? He does a good job. If I cooked we'd probarbly both starve. I either undercook or overcok everything. Its a waste of time and good food to let me cook. Anyone who has ate my food would tell you!
Talking of food, Monkey is trying to make me eat breakfast at the moment. I'm not a breakfast person at all. I hate it infact. I hate cereal, toast and any other breakfast food items. Apart from a bacon sarnie of course, but you can't go eating those every morning. So, I thought this morning would be the morning I got myself to like toast. I only would eat toast though with lots of butter and a smear of strawberry jam, or its like eating the dryest part of the Sahara. So, I toasted my bread an absolute treat. Buttered it all up, reached for the jam only to find smal green fuzzy mould hairs growing on top of it. Well, I could of screamed. Nothing ever went mouldy at home, now everywhere I look things are going out of date and mouldy. Milk, bread, cheese...! All the usual suspects. But JAM? JAM going mouldy? Thats just ridiculous! So, it was just plain 'ole buttered toast for me! Yuk! Never again am I eating breakfast. Not after this mornings let down. No Sir!
Before I started to write this, I actually tidied my room. Yep, that's right! I hoovered and polished too! Monkey is at his monday workshop, whereas I have Mondays off. So I thought to waste some time I would have a bit of a spring clean. The place looks spiffing if I may say so myself. Makes me actually want to be in here, unlike usual where you can't put your foot on the floor for fear of standing on a rat attracted by the month old food scattered about the floor!
Well, I'd love to stay chatting to you about all this nonsense, but suprisingly I have a life to live! Ciao x

Will sing for booze.....

Well, what an absolute disaster last night turned out to be!!!
You know when little annoying things happen pre-going out which tell you that its gonna be a bad night? Well, I had one of the worst experiences of that last night...ever! It took mw absolutely ages to decide what to wear. I know girls tend to be terrible at deciding on an outfit, but in general I'm really not that bad. But...last night I just felt like nothing fitted right, too small, too saggy, too short, too slutty, too boring...honestly, nothing was good enough. After I'd literally thrown all my items of clothing around the floor desperatley seeking the perfect outfit, I settled on a purple dress. MISTAKE. While I was just standing/sitting around my bedroom the dress was fine. As soon as I got outside I realised I'd made a terrible school boy error. With each step I took, the dress hitched up a few centimeters, and by the time I had walked quarter of the way to the club, my knickers were on show to anyone waking/driving past. The humiliation! So, after moaning to my Boosh & Monkey for a few minutes about me wanting to go home and change, they finally persuaded me that it looked OK and neither of them would go back with me. What would Monkey know of the discomfort a girl must go through to look good!?!? He just slings on the same jeans he's had on (since birth I think!!) and a tshirt and he's good to go.

Monkey and I went food shopping today. Instead of spending out usual £40-45, we managed to scrape the barrel by only buying 'Morrissons Betta Buy' range, and got away with only spending a mere £26! Not bad for two people. I even managed to get some frozen kebabs in there. Now thats what I call skill! Because of our money shortage, Monkey made me walk home! Yep, thats right, walk home with the shopping! Walking to the supermarket was bad enough, let alone walking back! And then to have to put the shopping away...the misery!
While I was packing the shopping in Morrissons, a question entered my head, as they tend to do quite often these days. Why is it that men can't open plactic bags? Is it some kind of male retardation that it is just not physically possible for them to rustle a bag open? I mean, us girls can just do it in one try. Men however just sort of rustle it between their fingers for a while with as much concerntration they'd use if they were attempting some death defying tight-rope walk, then stop in their tracks, look at us with those pathetic puppy dog eyes and muter something like 'I just can't do it'. Like a small child would say about riding a bike or tying their shoe laces. And they have ther nerve to say we are weaker than them. Yu-huh, at least we can open plastic bags!
As i am writing this, which might I add, is turning into a bit of an obsession, Monkey is at his flat doing his blog! i miss him when he's not here, non of his silly one-liners or dumb jokes! I hope he comes back soon so I get off this blog thing....its becoming quite addictive! I should be out there earning money, not sat in my squalor typing nonsense. I should be out there on the streets of Leicester with a sandwich board attached to myself informing passers by that "I WILL SING FOR BOOZE" or at least "MONEY FOR BOOZE"! So if I am tugging on anyones heart strings out there, I will accept any donations of cash or alcohol gladly, to see me through this tough time........Thankyou kindly x

Goddam Security.......!!!

I tell you, living in this student accomodation is really starting to get on my nerves! I mean, I cant even play a little bit of music in my flat without the big horrible security guard banging on the door like he's warning me the place is burning down! What an absolute asshole! He drives me crazy! Always on my case about one thing or another! So, last night, the drinks were rolling in, myself and Boosh had devoured more than ample ammounts of Gin and were a little bit, lets say, on the drunk side. We were having a complete knees-up, listening to music from our childhoods and singing along like there was no tomorrow! Who should come and piss on our parade....yuppa.....the security guard! As if anyone could here it outside, it wasn't that loud. Besides, I think he just waits outside my door for something to happen, and when it does he can be on my case like a fat kid to a cake shop! He really is the definition of a jobsworth! That completely ruined my night, and might I add, Boosh's night also. She went home, and the fella came back over. Perhaps I should mention, although he has his own room in the block opposite, he has pretty much been living here since December. I dont think I have ever spent a night apart from him since we got back after the christmas hollidays, kind of a gorgeous accesory to my room! Unfortunately though, after my bucket fulls of Gin I had consumed, I got myself into a bit of a mood, I think the secuity guard had much to do with this too! The fella (wait, maybe he needs a name too....erm.....monkey...northern monkey, thats it!!!) accidently ( I think) twisted my wrist and bust it! I dont know if it was the Gin, or my mood, that made it hurt like an absolute bitch, but I can tell you I was not a happy bunny for the rest of the night. Infact, after I hurled a bit of abuse at him, I got into bed and turned away in a huff. LIke a child who'd been denied sweet and there I lay, all night, without so much as a cuddle. This morning though, feeling bad, I went in for the first cuddle and we both knew everything was OK again and I was out of my grump. It was a first for me to make the first move, usually I'm about as stubborn as an old donkey. It made me feel good though, kind of like I'd done my good deed for the day. Then he did his good deed by cooking me a lovely dinner! As always! I'm not even allowed neer the oven, everything I cook turns into a disaster, so Monkey has now learned to just do it himself. Which is a bonus on my part I must say! If having dinner made for me wasn't enough for one day, I am also going out on the town with Boosh tonight. To make up for last nights cut short drinking session. Now doubt the drinks will be flowing again, and the best part is, nobody will harass us about the music being too loud! Knee's up take two......beware Leicester......!

Introducing the Boosh....

Today really hasn't been a day worth living to be quite honest! A complete and utter waste of my life. Although, if today has done nothing for me, it has infact brought up a question that I would love anyone with the answer to enlighten me: Why is it that even if you finish your assignment in plenty of time for the deadline, you stil only manage to hand it in just after the time limit!? I had finished my essay at ten o'clock this morning, two whole hours before the deadline and I still didn't manage to get it in until around 12:03! Whats the deal there?
So anyway, after getting my best runing shoes on and literally pegging it to Uni to hand it in, i totally wasted the rest of my day in bed! I'm sure all students reading this can relate! I mean, you just happen to fall asleep while reading or watching some crap on TV, the next thing you know you wake up and its dark! Today wasn't THAT bad, I fell asleep around 2 o'cock and woke up about 6 ish! Still, kinda depressing when you think about it! I dont know what has happened to me, at home I never napped. I was always out and about, doing things and getting on with my young life. And now, i seem to be wasting more that living it!
So to make up for my loss of a day, I plan on having a few drinks tonight with a friend. And might I add one of the best friends I have ever had! Considering we only met in Freshers' week of Uni back in Septemeber, she has definately become a brilliant friend! We can sit and talk about complete and utter shit for hours, and find the humour in almost anything! So, after my total waste of a day, I can now waste more of my day talking rubbish with her! Perfect! I imagine I shall be including this friend I speak of in many of my blogs, so perhaps it would be useful for me to give her a name, lets say, Boosh, I shall call her Boosh! So, me and Boosh will more than likely be getting rather drunk on the cheap wine from the shop below and putting the world to rights tonight! Sounds like an absolute ball! x

The day everyone dreads....(but not me this year...Oh no!)

Ah, Valentines Day! The dreaded 14th of February, when half of us wake up to a boquet of flowers and a soppy card, and the other half are left to drown their single life sorrows. I am usually found in the half walking around with a face on, pretending I dont care that everywhere I look couples are walking hand in hand, kissing and cuddling. It used to be actual torture opening a magazine or the daily paper to find advertisments splashed on every other page brainwashing its readers to buy a diamond ring for that "special someone" or to give your man something he will "really want" for valentines day! Not this year though, Oh no! This year i actually had someone I could spend the day walking hand in hand, kissing and cuddling with. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have been in relationships over Valentines day, but none that really meant to much to me. But this one does, and I wanted it to be a special day. Not only is he, in my opinion, the best boyfriend in the world (and I thought he deserved a special day to show that I feel this)but he is also the first boyfriend worth bothering with that I have had in a long time. So, last week sometime I went shopping to purchase some of these little 'love tokens' we see in the card shops and various other gift stores.I had this big plan in my head involving buying lots of small gifts that meant something to me and him, wrapping them up in lovely paper and placing them all in a box with a big love heart balloon that would pop out upon him opening it. This plan however went completely tits up, and I ended up buying all the gifts I needed but no box, wrapping paper or love heart balloon. Of all the things I forgot to get, the balloon was the thing I was most pissed off about!
So anyway, after that cock up, I thought I could take him for something to eat and a drink at night on our own. As both of us being students, we hardly ever get to go out alone without dragging a small posse out with us. While planning this little trip out, it completely slipped my mind that we both infact had an essay to finish and so would probarbly not have time to go out whatsoever.
To cut a long story short, we exchanged cards this morning, slept all day recovering from the stomach pains and sickness we had both experienced the night before, woke up and finished the essay together and finally ordered a kebab and chips each to celebrate. " How romantic" I hear you mutter. But, I tell you what, spending the day with the most gorgeous and wonderful man I have ever met made it the perfect Valentines day, love heart balloon or not.